Reply To: Principles Of Marriage And Family Discussion Board

[Ben]

RESPONSE TO WECHIE

I agree with you and to add to what you have said,Paul was also saying in essence, that to show love to a husband, you speak his “love language”. Which is to submit to him, ie. show him respect in ways that are meaningful to him. Such respect lets him feel his wife’s love for him and ignites in him feelings of love for his wife. Peter chimes in with Paul on this matter of respect for husbands.

According to 1 Peter 3:1-2, Peter wrote to wives that if any husband is disobedient to God’s Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe their chaste and respectful behavior. The husbands mentioned here are both carnal Christians or unbelievers who are disobedient to the Word- that is, Jesus Christ. No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being (Proverbs 21:19). The key to creating fond feelings of love or to show this love for a husband is for his wife to show him unconditional respect as he shows us love (agape as translated in Ephesians 5:33; which means unconditional love). This is the idea behind telling wives to submit to their husbands. A negative experience for a man or husband to endure would be to feel inadequate and disrespected by everyone. Many would rather live with a wife who respected them but did not love them than live with a wife who loved them but did not respect them. It doesn’t mean that men or husbands are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than to feel loved. Respect is the key to motivating a husband.

For example, when a General in the army respects his men and believes in them more than they believe in themselves, these soldiers want to improve, they want to get better, they want to fulfill that potential this General sees in them. Such men want to serve to the best of their abilities and to the end. 1 Samuel 4:9. In the same manner, a husband even when he is not up and doing in his responsibilities, would be greatly inspired and motivated to get himself engaged and ever productive when his wife submits to him- express respect in ways that matter to him.